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It may not display this or other websites correctly. You should upgrade or use an alternative other. Full Quad Dating. Thread starter coffeeandconvo Start date Feb 3, So several months ago my wife and I married 5 years decided we were ready to pursue ENM together something we had dating desiring since we were dating.
We approached it from the "swinging" couples expecting that we would find NSA sexual experiences more comfortable. Eventually, we met another couple who are also both bisexual and hit it off great right away.
Over the last two months with this couple we've realized that we're poly and are really enjoying this experience. All four parties are romantically involved with each other and as of this past weekend, we've decided to see each other exclusively to clarify we have all agreed to let everyone know if we see anyone else outside the quad for now and couples where things go. Current rules for the quad are as follows: 1. This is to avoid misunderstandings 2. Everyone consents to everything. Currently we only play with primary partners present.
I'm hoping there are some experienced quads here that would be willing to share their experience and maybe chat a bit so I can learn more about relationship dynamics, roadblocks, communication tools, etc I'd say those rules are going to be unsustainable but dating knows? Last edited: Feb 3, I'd say those rules are going to be unsustainable by who knows? Click to expand I guess? You did read the word "current"? I'm sure any adult would understand that things evolve? The problem can be that the relationships do couples survive the evolution.
Hello coffeeandconvo, Quads are somewhat less common than triads and V's, V's are the most common. However, what holds true for a V, usually holds true for a quad as well. We have some quads on the forum, but they may not be very active, in which case you'll just have to explore the principles of general polyamory. You can of course do a search on "quad" and find some threads from the past on the subject.
For what it's worth, it looks to me like your quad is on solid footing, and I think you'll do fine. I do suggest the four of you sit down together regularly e. Click here now you are together exclusively as a quad, you are not dating anyone outside the quad. That's similar to me, I am exclusively in a V, none of the three of us are dating outside the V. It's a solid setup and it definitely works, just be open to a possible change.
Welcome to the forum, keep reading and posting here. Regards, Kevin T. This is continue reading avoid misunderstandings. Sooo… what is more important to you, the structure of this very complicated relationship or the people in it?
What happens when you have a falling out with your girlfriend but your wife is still madly in love with her boyfriend? What happens if one of the primary couples is having problems?
“I’m dating both halves of a couple but neither of them know it – what can I do?”
So to be clear, while I understand that any poly-amorous relationship will have challenges, I am posting here to engage in conversation reference our relationship. Is there anything you can contribute other than anecdotal declarations? For example, look at the following: This may actually be accurate, but without a reason why they are not sustainable or additional information, this does me no good. Couples sure a LOT of poly relationships and relationships in general do not survive early evolution. What are some of the reasons for that? In YOUR experience?
My apologies if this comes off as harsh, my intention here is to have a dating dialogue with someone experienced in a similar dynamic that can help me navigate some unfamiliar waters. Also, I'm not new to poly life. It's other new within my current primary relationship.
There really isn't a lot of information on Full Quad relationships out there. We weren't looking for this, but now that we are here I am looking for some conversation and critical thought from experienced individuals.
MeeraReed Well-known member. I think your rules make sense for swingers, but won't work cincinnati dating services well if you want to shift into a more poly relationship structure. Maybe a total of four separate relationship dynamics if you count the threesome dynamic of everyone together as a separate dynamic, which might make sense. I think it will be very hard to sustain a quad dynamic if you don't also nurture the individual dynamics between each pair--and NOT just the original primary couples.
GalaGirl Well-known member. This is to avoid misunderstandings I'm not sure about the texting as a group thing. I don't think text dating site murderer the platform for couples conversation. And people need to be able to talk to each other directly and not always in quad. Like ok, in the broad sense like safer sex practices. But if 3 people want to go surfing and I don't? Go surf. I other need to be on board with that. Y'all have fun and I'll do something else.
While I get it coming out of the swinger mentality The sooner the better. If people WANT to share group sex and all consent that's one thing.
Boundaries Aren’t Magic
But I think people who date each other could be in charge of their own sex life. AB shares sex when AB is ready to. BC shares sex when BC is ready to. And so on down the line. A cross quad where everyone is dating everyone else? That's a LOT of different communication dynamics.
I am going to suggest you all think about reading about Non-Violent communication. Many books by Marshall Rosenberg, other I like this one best. What I mean by dynamics? Well, look at it listed out. I'm not saying it is happening here in your quad.
But pretend person A is depressed and does a lot of comparing and self shaming and is struggling in the quad because they https://telegram-web.online/dating-single-ladies.php everyone else likes another couples better than them. Those ripple effects will be felt everywhere A appears in a communication dynamic. I highlight in orange. Assuming ONE person, A, is having some kind of funk? That ripple effect may be felt in 21 layers.
So unless people are REALLY good at taking personal responsibility for their own stuff, maintain good boundaries, and are good at pinpointing where issue couples from and how it can impact others or domino effect? It can get a bit murky to figure out where ripple came from dating and how to approach conflict resolution. If something is going on with MORE people, then there's overlapping ripples. Kathy Labriola does a good section in her book "Love in Abundance" about how independent vs how much togetherness people want.
That's a compatibility issue to consider.