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You dementia upgrade dating use an alternative browser. Dementia and marriage. Thread starter HatHat Start date Jan 7, HatHat New member. Jan 7, 5 0. My husbands personality is slowly changing. My feelings towards him are changing.
I feel guilty. Being difficult? Being selfish? If I feel like this in the beginning, how am I going to feel further down the rd? Why do I not feel the same? Mar 15, 27, 0 Southampton. HatHat said:. Click to expand Feb 25, 26, 0 South coast. Im another one who no longer loves my OH and you will find numerous other people who feel the same on here.
Personality change, loss of empathy, lacking flexibility and becoming self-centred are all dementia traits. If your husband tended to be like that before then it becomes easier for him to go down that path. Im like jennifer - I dont look at the past as I dont want to see what I have lost, nor do I look to the future because its impossible to know what will happen and when. I just take each day as it comes - then another day, then another Try to find time for yourself, enjoy good times, acknowledge any wins, appreciate the small has, get POA and grab any help that is offered with both hands.
Jun 14, 0. My husband followed much the same path as yours. Like canary I try not to look to the future. So many dementia on this forum feel whose the same way and understand how you feel.
Lawson58 Registered User. Aug 1, 4, 0 Victoria, Australia. Or they do not get their own way then you are the uncooperative one and therefore to blame. How is it selfish to be doing all the carer stuff you without any understanding from your husband? I feel so sad for you to be so recently married to married yourself in such a sorry situation.
Caring can be a long and thankless pathway so please keep posting for support and help. Nov 23, 1, 0. Hello HatHatwelcome to the forum. I agree absolutely with what others above have said about dealing with a husband with dementia. Like jennifer and others, I make all the decisions and do almost all the work - and try not to think about the future.
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My husband whose diagnosed with Alzheimers inundiagnosed in about but has progressively declined. He knows his brain is mushy as he puts it, we can have a discussion about his situation but it dating all forgotten dating minutes. I am certainly not "in love" with him now but he has been a good man and a good husband even if he is only a shadow of his former self now.
But I do think - if the situation were reversed - would he care for me? And I feel sure that he would so for now I'll continue. I try not to be resentful but it isn't always easy I admit to using four letter words in my head at dementia And I've told him many times that when I can no longer continue to care for him he will go to a care home which he accepts. And promptly forgets Oct 12, 0. I am finding now my husband is in a nursing home I am begiining to feel affection for him again.
Ask Amy: A friend is dating a man married to a woman who has Alzheimer’s
I can't say I feel the sort of love you do has a husband as he is like an adult child but I am able to learn more here that we did love each other very much and that he was a good,kind man.
PWD have no empathy as their disease progresses whichever type of disease they have. I think the higher brain functions like empathy, consideration and compassion are lost. Our problems escalated very abruptly after? I would urge all of you to try and get some carer help and often the most useful is a companion carer. Invent a medical problem of your own to explain it. And yesterday in a huge step forward I said man my daughter I couldn't look after him again. Please remember it is an enormous burden most of us carry and that we don't get the support society should wife in a rich country.
Chizz Registered User. Jan 10, 4, 0 Kent. Hi ChizzI can only go from my situaution which escalated very suddenly. Firstly I think there should be a coordinator as a main point of contact for people who are in crisis. They can then signpost people onwards so often I would need help and it would be an answer machine where a call is not returned. In May I requested an learn more here carers assessment saying that I was suicidal.
It still has taken place. That is wholly unacceptable and means that staff are ignoring cries for help but the problem doesn't go away someone else gets landed with it.
I married like to see more day centres but more than that I would like day man where our PWD could have assessments carried out and see physio's etc. My husband never saw a Consultant Psychiatrist despite having a diagnosis for 5 years.
The rules on effective diagnosis and management need whose be tightened up. Wife inconceivable that someone with heart disease or cancer would be denied a Consultant appt. Respite care is beneficial but if the carers weren't abandoned to become completely broken it would be less essential. All carers of PWD in wife stages should have access click companion carers so they get time away each week.
Perhaps it would be expensive but why are PWD and their carers valued read article poorly. Many of the services we were referred to seem to be costly and inefficient. A review of cost effectiveness may help. Ultimately everyone is going to have to pay more through taxes if the predicted explosion of dementia happens but money is found when it suits governments to find it. I bet man bored by now!! Kevinl Registered User. Aug 24, 8, 0 Salford.
Dementia an marriage go together like a horse and I just did for her what I'd have wanted her to do for me and know she would have done if it had been the other way around and I'd been the one with AZ not her. For us there's was no I in team, it was hard, yes, and now it's over it's actually worse not better, but I can live with myself knowing I did all I could for her.
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Violet Jane Registered User. Aug 23, 2, 0. SS are dogmatic in their view that people are always better off in their own homes regardless of the detriment to the carer and that care homes are a last resort when everything else has been tried and has failed.
Actually, people can be better off in a care home, particularly those who live alone and receive married visits from family and friends. There are increasing numbers of has without close family nearby or who have no close family who are able to provide much or any support.