By Chris Seiter. Dating after a breakup, statistically speaking, is actually a good idea. So today I want to do an in-depth look at both sides of the fence.
Well, statistically and psychologically, the advantages for dating after the breakup are certainly there. In fact, if you actually look at the psychology, most people who have studied the field after breakups would actually tell you that you should absolutely be dating after the breakup. Dating after the breakup is dating of the smartest strategies that you can employ if you actually want your ex back.
How to Start Dating After A Breakup
This seems kind of counterintuitive, but our research has found that most of our clients dating attempting to try to get avoidant exes back. They want to be lone wolves, but at the same time, they also want to be close to someone. And so, this leads them to kind of be in and out of relationships, and it can often leave people quite confused when they date them. So, if you play into this avoidance psychology, having them actually see you out on a date with someone else allows them to lower their defenses and starts to trigger them to have these nostalgic, reverie-based memories.
I found some really great research from this avoidance dating website called freedoattach. So, basically, by you moving on and appearing unavailable and out of a relationship, an avoidant lowers their guard and starts to view you with fondness. This is actually one of the reasons we, as a collective coaching practicehave suggested, that it might be a good idea for you to date other people after a breakup. According to this article sourcegoing on dates after a breakup will help you become less attached to old partners.
However, I guess the one criticism I have here is that you should be cautious about transitioning from one codependent relationship to another. They enter a relationship believing that they need the other person to complete them and lose their identity and sense of self in the process. This makes the breakup all the more intense when it occurs.
Also, I found this research from Claudia Brumbaugh— source —where she basically found that dating learn more here else in breakup https://telegram-web.online/dating-affairs.php period can actually make you feel more confident and desirable.
I did this for a couple of reasons. What article source found by approaching us is that every subsequent date made her feel more and more confident.
By doing so, source only did she create this fear of loss, but her ex actually asked for her back. This is amazing. Even the woman I highlighted earlier, Jamie Cantrell, who was a staunch advocate for it, found it challenging at first.
This approach by Jamie stirred some controversies. Many in our community criticized her, particularly for forcing herself to date as one might force themselves to attend an undesirable job. What this implies is that perhaps waiting a certain duration post-breakup before dating again might be more ideal.
But even more critical than the timeline is the mindset of embracing an interdependent relationship.
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I recently interviewed Julia Kristinaa professional psychologist from Canada. We had an enlightening conversation on after topics, including codependency, boundaries, and avoidance.
In an interdependent relationship, both parties support each other while maintaining a robust sense of individuality. Are the individuals just living parallel lives? You should already view yourself as complete. This mindset forms the foundation of every interdependent relationship.
We should be striving for a relationship where both parties are complete, and together, they complement each other. When you genuinely embrace this mindset, dating will no longer feel like an obligation.
Yes, statistics advise dating post-breakup, and I concur. However, the breakup is pivotal, not only for your mental well-being but also considering your ex. If reconciliation is a consideration, sometimes delaying dating might be more beneficial. That delay could coincide with a time when your ex begins to after you. If they see you dating during this period, it might trigger nostalgia and positive memories from your past relationship. Your email address will not be published. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.
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What The Science Says About Dating After A Breakup
The No Contact Rule. The Podcast. What Your Ex Says Vs. What They Really Mean. Breakup Chris Seiter Published on August 25th, Take the quiz. What to Read Next. By Chris Seiter 0 comments.
2. Think of dating as a learning opportunity—not just a way to replace your ex.
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