A Tinder conversation led to a study break, which led to a beer.
I was having an amazing time, but I was also completely preoccupied, thinking about when and how to tell him. Despite our plans for the following week, the date came and went after a word from him.
What It's Like to Date After Being Raped
I knew why, of course. I was frustrated and sad, but I also moved on and laughed with my friends about how men seem to think disappearing rape an acceptable form of communication. Three months dating, he sent me a long text. A million things went through my mind about what I should have done differently—how I could have revealed less, how I could have been softer or tougher or liked him less or laughed a little more.
To make the dating world better for me—and for the millions of women who will be assaulted in their lifetimes—we have to take rape off of its pedestal. Survivors are still human after all, and humans have emotional and physical and romantic needs that we still learn more here to acknowledge, no matter how messy they feel. All my status as a rape survivor does is add one more layer to who I am as a human being.
For the millions of women who are coming forward with their experiences, we cannot forget that they also want dating site still take risks, that they still deserve to be supported in taking a leap of faith, in feeling loved and getting to love someone else.
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The Impact of Sexual Abuse and Trauma
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