One night while waiting to order a drink at a bar, a large, muscly man pressed his hand against my back.

When it comes to womanI struggle to trust men, always worried about when I might get quizzed on manga or my DNA. Rationally, I know not all men see me this way. Dating appswhich rely on appearance, are a primary way for me to meet people. No email hookup could attribute this lack of motivation to fatigue from the emotional hellhole that was The explosion of asian stories has only served to further deepen my anxieties about most men and their expectations of women.

When I broach the subject of yellow fever with dating, they often argue that having an attraction to Asian women is similar to having a physical preference for brunettes or dark eyes.

I’m A Proud Asian Woman. This Is Why I Used To Date Racists.

In reality, the idealization of the submissive but sexually skilled Asian woman has more to do with the othering of an entire race of people. Of course, people always mean it to be a compliment when they say you look exotic.

But to see more exotic implies that you deviate from normal, and dating almost always means white. Skip the sweet nothings. This article was originally published on SELF.

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