Posted in Dating. Our first response is to rejoice, remembering how thrilled we were on our first date. Let me get right to dating point. Speaking to the Corinthian church, Paul channels an image from biblical times and his agricultural setting to answer it.
When animals are first put into the yoke, they surprise hate it and pull in different directions. Nothing gets done until they submit to the yoke and learn to work together. In other words, the purpose of dating is to figure out whether you would like to someday get married.
The Apostle Paul tells us in the New Testament. While God designed marriage to give for joy, companionship, and the procreation of children, on an even deeper level, he created it to reflect his relationship with us Ephesians If someone does not have the same core commitment to Dating as we do, I would argue that the relationship will not ultimately be helpful to them. Instead, it is dating to end in deep frustration after they discover the relationship is not truly compatible at the deepest, most foundational level.
I can hear someone say, though, that dating presents a special opportunity to introduce their boyfriend or girlfriend to Christ. Within the intimacy of the dating relationship, you can introduce them to Jesusand then you can be on the same page spiritually, too. There are stories like that. Sure, it could happen to you. As Kathy Keller mentions in this article for The Gospel Coalition, there are three more common outcomes:.
Make God Your Everything, Everyday
Not that they would necessarily walk away from Christ altogether, but a lot of Christians may go to church less often, spend less time in bible study or prayer, decrease financial contributions to missionaries, or become less involved at church to maintain unity in the marriage. A non-Christian partner could even lead the piper perri hookup spouse into Christian compromises and sinful behavior that leads them far away from God.
In the Old Testament, this happened to King Solomon in dramatic fashion as foreign women pulled him away from the faith he had as a young man 1 Kings Regardless of the degree of drift, a Christian who marries an unbelieving spouse puts his or her personal relationship and the gospel of Jesus Christ at serious risk. Are those the options you want? No matter how in sync you are in terms of common interests, personality, or any number of other characteristics, dating, this is probably not going to end well.
This is something I have observed in people I know personally and way more than once. The pain, dating, and frustration are personal and real. In my experience, most Christians already sense that dating a non-Christian is wrong. Or, at least, have some hesitation and uncertainty. In general, younger Christian men struggle with how to weigh the relative roles of physical appearance and godly dating.
Perhaps they just share a bunch of common interests and just have a great time together. For many women, it tends to be a little different. She meets a genuinely nice non-Christian guy who treats her well, has a good job, has confidence, and generally seems to be a good person. And like finding yourself cupid dating site up the middle of a house of unbeliever, it gets harder and harder to find your way out.
I want to be sympathetic here. I see why men and women who are ultimately not compatible spiritually end up together. A Christian woman dated, then married, an unbelieving husband. Or, vice-versa, where a Christian man tied the knot with an unbelieving wife. Later on, God rescued the spiritually immature person, sometimes through the example of the more mature spouse.
Peter himself recognizes unbeliever possibility 1 Peter At the same time, these few exceptions prove the rule. To put it differently, good results do not unbeliever a bad process. I know that may seem like a wild, unnecessary overreaction. Or, maybe pretty scary. But apart from being in a relationship with Jesus, who we date and ultimately marry, is one of the most important decisions you can make.
Can I Date an Unbeliever?
Even having everything you want in a relationship except Jesus is a flawed, doomed-for-failure relationship. It would be like having your dream car without an engine. Or your dream house without a kitchen. But reading this post is an opportunity for freedom, so commit — to yourself — to end the relationship and decide when you will do it. Whenever we do something hard, we need help and support to follow through.
So unbeliever out to some believing friends. A mentor. Your pastor. Pour out your heart and your fear, and ask for prayer. Tell them when you plan to end the relationship and invite them to follow up. Surround yourself with 50 amp rv hookup who will remind you that you made a good decision.
Go out and unbeliever fun with friends. Make sure you go to a solid church each week, and find a way to have meaningful relationships outside of Sunday morning. I know this can sound like a cliche. But you have a Savior who understands. His closest friends ran away at the end of his life when he needed them most Mark His own Father ignored him while he hung on the cross Mark Yes, it was for us, but the closest relationship that ever existed was broken for three horrific days.
Familiarize yourself with the passages in this post and pray through them, begging God to make them real — not just facts — to you. Right to appear out of nowhere.
What will finding support, making a plan, and leaning into God look like specifically for you? Thank you for this reminder! Hey Anna, thanks for reading and sharing your experience. Praying that God will help you find the right guy in time.
I have before, several times. I will end it now. Hi Shupikai, I hope you and your partner have been clear with each other about where you stand in terms of your faith commitments, and based on your comment, it sounds like perhaps you have. Either way, when someone who is Christian dates someone who is not, significant compromises need to be made, which is unhealthy for both persons. So, I pray God gives you the unbeliever to dating end the relationship.
6 Amazing Parallels Between Exodus and the Gospel of John
PAUL is the dating that said not to be unequally yoked. Hi Jeremy, thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.
However, learn more here ActsJesus continue reading appeared to Paul and commissioned him to be his witness. Click to see more can also approach this from the angle of what Jesus taught. Since Jesus did not write any of the biblical books directly, we primarily have his words as mediated through the writers of the gospels.
Is there a reason you would trust the gospel writers more than Paul or Peter? Honestly asking. Hi Jessica, thanks for reading and sorry for my slower response. I am glad you are wrestling with your relationship with your non-Christian boyfriend, and can see why it would be hard dating end it, especially after being with him for a year. His resistance to becoming a Christian certainly unbeliever to indicate he is unlikely to change, but it also means unbeliever know where he stands.
Sometimes non-Christians will have mild spiritual interest and not make that clear in an effort to stay in the relationship, which creates problems down the road, especially after marriage. The longer you stay in the relationship, the harder it will become to end.
And, you will ultimately have to face the choice of unbeliever you will marry someone God lovingly commands you not to e. I know that ending the relationship is SO much easier said than done and I am truly sympathetic to your situation. But I also feel that she leads me away from Christ sometimes in her actions and words.
Hi Reed, sorry for missing this somehow until now. Even if she were to become a Christian, that would likely be an unfolding journey. And, of course, all of us still mirror Jesus so imperfectly!
I think your instincts to end the relationship are good. Even if she were to put her trust in Jesus today, it would likely take some time before you felt secure in her commitment.
In addition, if you are substantially more mature spiritually, it might create a parent-child dynamic where she struggles to engage with you on an equal footing, which would not be good for either of you. For these reasons, I suggest continuing the relationship simply as friends if that is possible. It may be too hard for now. If she were to go all-in with Jesus and grow quickly in her faith, perhaps it could work out down the road. Feel free to write back with any thoughts or questions; I will pray for God to give you wisdom to do what is best.
If there are any What are some pros and cons to dating a non-christian? Hi Isaac, thank you for reading and commenting. That said, since some Christians unbeliever date non-Christians, there dating perceived benefits.