He is a best-selling author, regularly appears on radio and in magazines, and runs exclusive couples retreats. If you have a question for John, email: dearjohn nine. I have been dating my boyfriend for seven years and he still hasn't proposed to me. I am currently 33 and we have been dating since I was As I grow older, I can't help but wonder when the hell he will propose! We've spoken about it before and he says he wants to get married and have children. But I am confused because if he really wanted to, then we would be engaged by now?

I used to be patient about it because I didn't want to pressure him but now it's getting a bit ridiculous… How much time does he need? I haven't brought it up with him yet because I feel like it's an awkward topic to discuss. How do you think I should approach it?

It's time for you get on the front foot and light a fire under him. The reason why he hasn't committed to marriage so far is because he hasn't needed to. If you keep avoiding this topic, you're going to have this problem for the next seven years. It's now over to you. If you want different, then you have to do different. You have to speak up, ask him some black and white questions, and then observe how he responds. After seven years, the answers should be a simple 'yes'.

Recommended Posts

If it's not, then you need to understand that he's not going to give you what you want long-term. The bottom line is, people do things because they work. There is a gain in him staying the same and not committing. He gets to live with you, enjoy your family and friends, have constant sex, share money and rent, holiday twice an year, have all your support during the hard times, while avoid getting married.

He has all the benefits of a long term relationship, without making a commitment. This isn't seven months, it's seven years! So it's time to take responsibility, accept that this is a situation that works for him, and if you want change it, then you're going to have to rock the boat. So sit down with him and share with him that you're feeling very uncertain, uneasy, scared and anxious about your future as a couple.

Explain that after seven years, he has still not proposed, and you have no clear future together. Tell him that you can no longer live with this limbo, for that he now needs to step up. Remember, any answer other than a yes, is a no. Observe his reaction and listen very carefully to his answers. Remember, any answer other than are the dating sites straight 'yes' — means it's a 'no'.

After seven years, he doesn't need any more time. This is very straightforward, and he needs to commit. It's now proposal on your shoulders to get the change you want. My years never does any housework and it drives me crazy. We both work full time and have two children together.

Sometimes, if I get home later than him, I will come home to the house looking like a bomb has hit it. On the other hand, if he comes home after me, he will be walking into a clean house because I like to make things look nice and organised for him.

I used to not care as much about it, but with two kids and constant proposal, I am growing so sick of doing all the work around the house. He's a great husband otherwise and I don't want to make him sound too terrible but how do I get him to take more responsibility for this years Of course you care.

With two kids and a full time and — you need to work as a team with your husband, and that's not happening. When you have a family, you don't become more independent and self-absorbed, you start focusing on things other than yourself. The problem with your husband right now, is that he isn't understanding your position. He has heard you tell him to help proposal around the house, but it's not sinking in.

So https://telegram-web.online/how-do-i-find-someone-on-a-dating-site.php need to change how you talk about this topic, and he should then start falling into line. The key to changing all of this, is making him understand your position so he can empathise with you.

At the moment, you're just telling him what he needs to do and around the house, and he doesn't do it.

Now it's time to change tact. You've got to share with him how it makes you feel, and he needs to get into your shoes. If you can do this, then he will get understanding and from there change can happen. So open up to him and say that you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted, taken for granted, resentful, unsupported and dating when he doesn't fulfil dating promise to do chores around the house. Give him specific examples e. Then say, that in the future you would love for him to complete chores at dating times agreed.

Once you've finished sharing this with him, ask him to feedback what you've just said, and importantly, how it has impacted on you emotionally when chores don't get shared. Then ask him if there's anything you could do differently in the running of the house, and listen to what he has to say.

At the end of all of this, your goal is to have created understanding and empathy, and then from there new actions can occur. Remember — it's all about expressing your feelings as opposed to telling him what he's doing wrong. My best friend's boyfriend treats her terribly and I want to stage an intervention but am not sure whether it will ruin the friendship.

He demonstrates really concerning behaviour and from the stories she tells me, he is constantly gaslighting her. I have tried to offer some advice but she never takes it seriously and always goes back to him… only to end up in the same toxic cycle again.

How do I save her from her toxic relationship? Is there even anything I can do? I need help.

You can't save her from this relationship, so you need to make a decision moving forward. Do you speak up again, tell her about your concerns about her boyfriend and likely lose your friendship completely? Or do you accept the situation, try and catch-up with her only on her own, and have her in your life? It really depends on how much you value her friendship, and whether you can cope with her being in this toxic relationship.

But know this — you cannot get her to break up and leave this guy. You've either got to accept this situation, or speak up, step away and leave her to figure this out all by herself.

Saving her, is now out of the question. The reason I can be so black and white about this, is because you've already tried 'saving' her from this guy and getting for to leave. She's heard everything you've had to say, and she chose him over you. End of story. So don't think that this is going to change with an intervention — it's not.

She understands who he is, how he treats her and what you think of him, and it simply doesn't matter. She wants to be with him. So if her friendship is really important to you, then you go here to change your arabian dating and embrace this relationship.

That means you never talk badly about him again to her, or give her advice, or try and get her to leave. Just simply accept the relationship, listen and don't fix. And whenever you get the chance, try and catch-up with her on her own without him being around. This at least keeps her in your life. If however, you simply can't stomach this, then you have your answer. Say years piece, step away and let her be. You should always seek your for professional advice for your circumstances. Any actions taken are the sole responsibility of the reader, not the author or 9Honey.

For a daily dose of 9Honey, subscribe to our newsletter here. Royals Honey Loves. Nine 9Honey Latest. Eight seniors share their best relationship advice. View Gallery. Share Mail Tweet Pinterest. Auto news : Tesla investigation could lead to recall of 24 million vehicles.