Dating my boss

It started out with a note. I was always very adamant about not wasting paper. In fact, I spent most of my days frequently memorizing messages that were meant for management rather than scribbling it on our expensive Post-Its just to conserve the company money. You used to make fun of me for how messy I was. You insisted dating would be fine to just continue using the Post-Its for their intended purpose and told me not to worry about waste because the company would pay for more.

I blush every time this happens but you always follow up with how impressed you are with my memory and how sweet it is that I am concerned with helping to conserve the environment. I have never been a perfectionist but something about you made me want to always try harder.

Every time you and the big BIG boss delivered my quarterly review I anticipated your comments more than his. Work was always something to look forward to whenever you were there. Even on the busiest and most migraine-inducing days you always found the time to come up to the desk and crack a few jokes with me.

I discover that we have a LOT in common beyond representing the same brand name on our tax forms and Facebook profiles. We discuss music, our families, morals, and every item on the forbidden list of "things to not be talked about in the workplace. But one day I happened to catch a glimpse of you paying attention to me. I was walking toward the back room when you stopped me in the hall between the kitchen and dining room.

A sly dating move, I must say. However at the time whenever I received a compliment from you my face muscles tightened to restrain the burst of joy that would shine through my smile. I kept denying that there were feelings because I knew how wrong it was.

You were the one in boss of my paycheck and whether or not I could continue working here. Your body this web page commands attention without begging for it, which is why people immediately turn to you for questions and advice.

You have power but you never abuse it. You have a deep compassion and concern for the well-being of your employees and the greater public and make personal sacrifices every day to ensure the happiness of others. You never took yourself too seriously, and yet when we had our side conversations and you eagerly discussed current events with me, I could tell you were being very sincere.

You never make me feel like your subordinate. My equal. I try restraining my feelings and silencing them once and for all. This is completely inappropriate and I will end up fired if I start to act overly flirtatious.

But would dating have been worth it? I start to imagine the prospect of dating you with me no longer working there. But one day my actions started to be reciprocated.

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On a slow afternoon you slip me a memo underneath my hand. The mere idea of any of our exchanges going beyond the number of bookings we had for Saturday or how short we were on staff pens was inconceivable. Sure, I joked with you more than I did with any other manager, and our conversations dating with a comforting ease, but our relationship was professional. Nothing more. Even in those moments where I would daydream of you and I closing shop and your arm caressing mine I felt tortured. My roommate insisted that it was my subconscious simply hinging on the fantasy of sleeping with an older, financially stable higher-up in the workplace.

She criticizes my careless willingness to take risks and reminds me of how precarious my position is in the company. Why not hook up and find someone click the following article the local crafted cocktail spot instead? It puts his job at risk too, you know. Out in the parking garage, near the cash registers, behind the ATM, in the foyer, a midst the action of the kitchen. Did we not think anyone would notice?

Your Post-Its populate my nightstand. Boss is an unspoken code that guides all of our interactions with each other. One day I summon the courage to speak forward but casually still manage to be indirect about it to you about a possible invitation outside of work. We chat with the wonderfully secret Facebook Message platform to discuss our rendezvous boss the possibilities of heading to a concert.

I arrive at your home biting my lip in nervousness. But really I do it in hopes to prevent my massive, dorky smile from overpowering my visage and adding to the awkwardness of us hanging out beyond the walls of our workspace. We both joke about how funny it would be if the big boss drove by right now and happened to catch us hanging out.

Why Can’t I Date My Boss?

You welcome me with a glass of red wine and tour me through your home. I survey your common areas because my hunger to know every detail grows with every step I take. The current set-up of contrasts immensely with the methodical and controlled image you present at work. Your pots and pans haphazardly cover your countertops where you spend a great deal of time cooking and not cleaning. Culinary school grads hate that part of the process in the same way lit grads hate assigned readings. The room is littered with DVDs and books and your refrigerator boasts more beer than actual food.

And I am not put boss by the mess despite your insistent apologies, but rather, more excited to spend time in a space that you could enjoy without being sneaky about it. But amidst the piles of documents there is a small stash neatly folded and packed like some kind of secret treasure to be protected from possible coffee boss or being lost during a move. I recognize this reserve immediately:. I dating that you suffer from similar reflexes when in my presence as well.

Every single one. And then I no longer needed to question if this had any meaning or purpose…I just knew.