You shallow, beep judgmental, superficial, retch. Too much? Most people at some point in their life have complained about how shallow the other sex is. There is a wonderful hypocrisy about so many of us out there dating.
Like he said, he was six foot, he is not six foot. Oh yeah, they make me feel fairly unsafe. When we should be investing based on the things that do. Now, I made this point a couple of weeks ago and someone asked me a question that I thought was pretty interesting. I thought, you know what? I want someone who turns me on. I want someone I have chemistry with. Number one, go into a date with a generous lens. A writer that I know, Kevin Conley who interviewed people for a magazine and he had to write these columns, these profiles on these people.
He said, I found that if I searched for a moment where I could feel gratitude for the person in front of me, I could get myself to really care. And then I would go away and I would write a great profile on this person. You can apply this to a date. And then ask yourself, what kind of questions would I ask if I was trying to get to that place of gratitude? How would I get to know them? What information or experiences or stories from them would I try to elicit so that I could feel grateful that I was with this person?
Do you need to be attracted? Yes, on some level, of course. Men attraction is a box that needs to be checked. Number three, decide what qualities to value the most in advance.
Someone who creates peace with me and for me, someone who is an incredible listener because an incredible listener, tall the way, will also adapt over time. These dating things that men going to give you a great quality of life in a relationship.
One of the greatest qualities someone can demonstrate is the ability to make you feel safe, to be who you really are. Someone who makes you feel accepted, someone who makes you feel like tall can be you. Because when you can be you, the best parts of you come out and vice versa. Kindness never goes out of fashion. Someone who wants to please you sexually never goes out of fashion. The way someone looks might go out of fashion, but the qualities that make someone an amazing partner do not.
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Number four, follow your curiosity, not your ego. Ego will have us chasing after something that we think is going to make ourselves enough. Think back to when you were at school, maybe you were dating, you wanted to be with the cool kids. And you found yourself gravitating towards them, just wanting to be accepted by them because being accepted by the cool kids, by the popular ones meant that you were enough. Now all of a sudden, you are sort of getting that reflected back men you. When it comes to who we date. Why do I, I feel oddly drawn to this person?
Follow your curiosity. I should have got that. I should have got someone who look like that. I should have. There is this intangible magic to certain people that just once we start to really invest in them, it just makes sense. It makes sense why you are my person.
It just makes sense.
You are my person. And investment comes from settling on someone, not for someone. Settling on someone.
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Settling on someone implies a decision. Of everyone in the world, I chose you. I chose us. What happens if I go all in and you go all in with me? How did that happen? How did those two people end up together?
But the only way dating agency cyrano you find that is by investing enough that you get to that point in the first place. And most of us at some point in our life have been such judgmental dating that we never get to that point in the first place.
So take your curiosity, take your open-mindedness, take your generous perception of people and experiment. If you want something from me that can help you see what you might have with someone, I have a program called The Momentum Texts and dating website for married whole program is designed to see if you can create momentum with this person in a way that does excite you, in a way that does create attraction.
There are so many superficial relationships that never go anywhere, that tall get off the ground, and for people who are dating intentionally, it drives them insane. It leads to abbreviations online dating, it leads to dating burnout. I created The Momentum Texts as a way to avoid dating burnout and give people genuine momentum, a genuine feeling of progress in their love lives.
Check it out. Check it out at MomentumTexts. I truly enjoyed reading this article. I have been a fun of your post on Instagram and bought the tall get the guy! One of my aha moments was about fat someone that lights you up!
So true about this and where you can be your authentic self in a place you feel safe. Did you ever see the Dr. Phil episode, where he put two really shallow people together? They both realised that there were better ways to appreciate people; namely in terms of substance, depth, character, courage and conscience.
Oh dear; was being valued on the basis of how I rate as a piece of ass, meant to simultaneously exclude having self-respect, boundaries and an assertive opinion? It leaves me in the predicament of being chased mostly by assholes read: narcissists. And then when I do try to speak to someone that I like; someone that I think is on an intellectual par with me, demonstrates the qualities of OCEAN open, conscientious, empathic, agreeable and not neurotic — he freaks, runs and I get ghosted.
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