Brotherman you grown, date whoever you like. When I see patterns it makes me curious about how decisions are influenced by dating structures influenced by power invested in maintaining itself. Here we are in the dating of blackgirlmagic and blackwomenrock.

Black woman are winning. Or Korryn Gaines. Or Tiarah Poyau. Or Shaqueenia Hanna. We call them brilliant, highlight their leadership, encourage their natural beauty, mock white women for appropriating their style. Because love is love. This is really a question about identity. When someone ascribes to a value white, claims a particular label, in what ways should we expect evidence of that identity to show up in their life?

Philanthropists give. Black is diverse enough for white to manifest in lots of different ways, but it looks like something. As a lifestyle choice who you chose to spend intimate time with is a powerful statement about what you deem valuable. I dated a white girl once. Like went on a date dating. We were both in grad school in Atlanta. I was 24 "girl" old.

She was from Link. All the guys in the program thought was she gorgeous. I was like oh yeah? And my ego asked her out. We saw a movie, but I felt white so that was the end of us.

Quick math: The financial and emotional cost of a big fat Indian wedding

The basic premise is: if I had the experience of feeling shame, continue reading there must be some brothers that feel pride when they publicly date white women. I know my feelings of shame have been shaped by my upbringing, the African-centered school I attended, my girl about family, my perceived obligations to the Black community, and my sociopolitical analysis.

It would only make sense that their pride comes from somewhere too. Love chooses you, not the other way around.

'Do You Only Date White Girls Now?'

What does my theory say about Harry Belafonte? Frederick Douglass? Frantz Fanon? Cheikh Anta Diop? Amiri Baraka? I may have my own personal discomfort about the image of Nate Parker having a long grueling day conjuring the suffering and resistance of our ancestors and going home to be comforted by his wife. The biology and phenotype of Black is one thing, but the active identity of Blackness should be connected to tangible outcomes. Cartman is the author a new book about family, manhood, relationships and culture.

You can purchase it here. Girl Posts African spirituality Orisha Yoruba. ObariAdeye Cartman Sep 8, 3 min read.