Join us as we chat with Marni Check this out about how she regained her own dignity when dating — and why this is essential for anyone dating right now. We discuss addressing your limiting beliefs, how dating spot various manimals, and what it actually go here to date with dignity. The Dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that the Huffington post calls one of the top ten podcast about love and sex.

On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about. From sex parties to sex droughts, date fails a diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host Yue Xu, former dating coach turned dating sociologists. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Krafchick as we explored this crazy dateable world. Hey everyone welcome to another episode of dateable a show all about modern dating dating without a journey involved. We all have to go through a journey we have to go through through all these different milestones in our love.

Lives to get to where we are today and who is a better person like I think of her as a dating Sherpa than Marnie uh-huh Teesta. WHO's on dignity line with us?

Right now She lives in l. Originally from the Midwest. She's in her fabulous fifties. She's currently married and she helps smart successful women overcome hurdles and blocks to living their best life and fighting a high quality man.

A man she has even astor's and education is a certified life coach also a master practitioner at ministering in energy assessment called the de factor helps clients pinpoint exactly why they are or are not dateable from free it house very appropriate for us and what types of messages they're unconsciously broadcasting to others based on their thoughts feelings actions and attitudes like almost like you're dating wore acquitting.

Yes it's fabulous and on top of that money's also trained as a facilitator and mentor trainer by the Hoffman Institute who has been quoted dating numerous research studies. I'm sure you've all heard of Hoffman Institute. A world renowned leader in personal development in addition Marnissi on camera dating and relationship coach on the hit reality TV show control TV. I'm so excited to have Mardi here because like I actually.

I had my own experience with. I found her Kind of admits this like eating like dating hole in like during that period head. Where like I just kept going date after date? I was also a really toxic like friends with dating. Like I don't want to be a relationship but with I thought there was still hope so I I lost my dignity predict Dark Ages Dark Ages and I remember somehow stumbling across Marty and I was like really like intrigued by it because there with so much bad dating stuff out there like why men like Mary bitches or something terrible books that were just like game playing and I like like this approach of like getting down to like what is the core of what the challenges and like what is it.

That's holding you back and like not just blaming whatever. External forces are out there air. So you were definitely ahead of this web page time here because I remember getting like a USB in the mail and private because it was like not this cut kind of out of the open thing to listen to David. Hit me like a really good point in my life and this is by sharing. This is that I was like in the state of dating being fatigue.

Tinder was at its prime going on tons of dates and like loving that aspect and then I was like. Why can't I ever get past like deep three or five?

I I started think dating was something wrong with me and I think like by listening to your program and listening to you I was able to really address like what was holding me back and end like why my personality might become off different with dates than it was like with friends for example and why I was with maybe playing these games that we're actually getting in my own way. I wasn't being authentic and actually took a break really dating on like even your workbooks back the head.

I actually met someone that ended ended up being like a very significant partner for me so like I just think like you're totally worked so I was super excited to have you which is very happy to be here the Martin. Aren't you so proud of your student. Here she is such a I love it. And what's really cool is I will get an email like that sadder. Somebody sent me a picture in an email just the other day. They've been together eight years one of the first people. I coached and her and her husband went back to where they had their first date dating she sent me a picture and So I love hearing people's lives unfolding in a way that was beyond what they could have imagined because because they kind of took the pause to do the work and then learn how to date racing nudie which is possible there is totally great guys out there yes would super fulfilling thank you for sharing that so Marnie back in the time when you started your business and you dignity I wanna be a dating coach.

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I mean what was more info out. There was pickup. Satiety was huge and also the I'm the victim community. It was how to stop being a victim how to be source girl to be stronger. Not Be taken advantage of so you came at it with a different angle of dating with dignity. How did you come upon this? Well you know they say what you teach what you need to learn.

And so in my intro tro. You talked about the With Institute so I had just come off dignity like some pretty deep or because I had been dignity after seventeen years and they got in a really bad relationship relationship right away and I was like Oh crap you know here I am like repeating patterns and When I did that work for myself and started my own journey?

One of the things that I realized is that I had lost in the journey of love and intimacy was dignity self respect self love and so so I had made this one is actually an exercise. A hell all dignity clients do it still to this day Is this Mangala exercise. And I had these words that really captured sure you know my I am or my authenticity and I had dignity and so when I decided to really look at what then was the core that changed my own dating journey. It was dignity you know.

It was like a game changer. And then with we decided to start this transformational transformational company around relationships.

Episode Transcript

I mean it was just dating with dignity if we have dignity that we have self respect and self love and if you have that then everything's different so take because back to that relationship like where were you when you didn't have dignity and like how did you get out of that. How did you find with funny? What's wrong with me? I gotta fix this. I gotTa fix me Eh. Dignity we ended up getting a divorce which is really challenging.

And at the time I sorta figured the best way to get over someone is dignity get you know as they say under someone someone else do. I met another guy and the sky was like the same version of my ex husband and click a lot of ways better looking different body of whatever but in the end it was just like I did a podcast with Jordan. Harbinger Owens He titled it Like I was a psycho ex girlfriend. And that's basically Dating how I was driving around Like inbetween when my kids were at school like driving by his house seeing if he was with as somebody else you know bringing him coffee trying to seduce him.

When we're dating I was basically like his made and his baby sitter? You know like taking care of his kids in moving his house else in edit do that stuff in my own house I mean I just was you know constantly getting treated like he gave me what I call crump you you know and Check this out just kept putting up with it you dignity until I hit bottom.

Live Life On Your Terms

He broke with with me wanting to get him back and I just realized like you know at at the end I am the common denominator in all my failed relationships in for me my three daughters were like my why because I was like.

I don't figure this out at least for myself like all I'm GonNa do is teach this to my girls. They were really young. It was ten years ago plus and so I just made that be my why. And and that's when I kinda started on my own journey and what I figured it out and I realized hey this is a you know a repeatable process and we started teaching it to other people that was fulfilling but the word dignity has so much weight to it.

But I don't think people really know what it means. They know it's a good word right. What does it entail? And you touch upon something that I can definitely relate to is. You did things for this man that you wouldn't even do for yourself right and it has backwards exactly and that's dignity you've lost dignity.

Is that even. Treat yourself as well as you described dignity described dignity as knowing who you are and knowing dignity values and standing by who your true self is not getting lost in a relationship and also not counting on someone to complete who you are because it yourself but Marnie.

How would you describe what dignity as well? I keep it real simple with with clients and people who are kind of with to do it. I'm dating you wake up in the morning and you feel good about yourself. Yeah no whether you slept with them. You didn't sleep with within. He called you. He didn't call you.

You had a great day. You had a Shitty Day you know like whatever right like with you wake up the next day and you're like wow I am I showed up in the best version of myself. I have no shame. Regret remorse. I'm not trying to control you know like I feel good about myself south.

That like I had dignity now I have no no regret me is like a real simple way to see. If dating dating went dignity I just thought of this incredible edible business idea where having alarm clock instead of it beeping in warning it would just go. How do you feel about the yourself? It's so what is the ultimate dating with dignity philosophy.

That's funny. I mean you with if I was going to quote Rupaul. I think she says you know.