But surprisingly, despite the enormous amount of people in this position, my recent Google searches on dating with kids post-divorce have turned up next to nothing on the subject.
There are lots of lists, of course, indicating the appropriate time with introduce your new partner to your children and how to do so smoothly. I should probably start by saying I believe whole-heartedly that there is nothing wrong with dating when you have kids.
True life: Dating while being a single mom to young kids is complicated
The best mom is a happy one, with if you meet someone who can contribute to your life and bring joy to it, then have at it. Practicing self-care is one of the best ways to become a better caretaker, and dating should be on that list, alongside bubble baths and good kids. I have almost 4-year-old twin girls. I might only be 26, but hello! So in the beginning, I made a choice: I decided I would slice myself down the middle into two versions—the one I am during the week with my kids, dating another on the weekend when I went out on a date.
The latter could be young, vibrant, with clean hair and boundless, youthful energy, while the former would be unwashed, unshaved, and falling asleep under piles of laundry by nine PM. Dating am lucky in the way that my former husband and I have a good relationshiptalk regularly about our kids, and he comes to my place almost every thailand craigslist to pick them up.
There was definitely some chest-puffing on both kids, and the conversation was about as strategic and subtle as navigating a minefield while blindfolded. But eventually both men started to breathe normally, and one day they got together and had a conversation agreeing on a mutual desire to bring the girls and myself nothing but happiness.
1. THEY HAVE KIDS
Let them anchor you to the soil, and hold fast when it feels like you might get swept away. I want them to experience firsthand that despite what TV shows and movies tell us, a boyfriend and an ex-husband, or a girlfriend and an ex-wife can actually get along with each other because above all they want peace for the children caught in the middle.
They also have to learn through me that relationships do not complete you, and that we are all the engineers of our own happiness. The latest.
2. THE KIDS HAVE A MOM
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