This is the story of Elizabeth and her 22 year marriage to a Lebanese man. Note: Elizabeth and her husband eventually divorced.
Lebanese Men
Obviously obviously! Elizabeth was simply the first person who responded to my interview request. Of course, there are a gajillion happily married cross-culture couples. How did you meet your husband? He was doing an internship click at this page educational exchange program when we met.
The dorm would have these mixer events in the bar they had setup in the basement of the dorm. I remember thinking that we were the least likely to hit it off at the time because those were the years of kidnappings of Americans in Lebanon. We seemed more like natural enemies.
Prior to culture your husband, had you ever dated anyone from a different culture? I found people from other countries totally fascinating and I gravitated toward them as friends from high school onwards.
In college I dated a guy from Vietnam, someone from Malaysia, and a Turkish guy before meeting my husband. How did your friends and family feel about your relationship? They never really go here anything that I can recall.
How did his friends and family feel about it? Lebanon is much dating family-centric, so his family was very interested in the people with whom he was culture time.
That being said, however, their culture frowned upon dating per se. One would normally get to know one another if the families knew each other and the relationship flowed from that basis. Have you two ever had any cross-cultural miscommunications of your own? Of course! His native language was Arabic, with French as his second, and German as his third language. I speak fluent German and English, culture course, so we conversed in German for the entire first year and then some of our marriage.
Other miscommunications resulted from cultural differences. Another thing was that I was raised to be totally independent and self sufficient. They are raised to be selfless and family-centric, which was for me very foreign. I viewed the ever-present family as intrusive and counterproductive. They viewed my family as cold and unhelpful when they let us alone to work through our own issues rather than having them interfere.
How do you incorporate both of your cultures into your day-to-day life together?
2. Commitment phobia
Well, we lived lebanese much of a Lebanese life as we could while living in the States. I was always cognizant of how hard it must have been for him to be the only person from his relatives that was culture the States, so I deferred mostly to the Lebanese culture. We ate Lebanese, we listened to Lebanese music, we had Lebanese satellite TV, we dating together with other Lebanese that we met along the way. Tell us about your three!
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Our first wedding was the official one in Germany. Since we were living there when we met, we got married the first time there. The office was housed in a little mansion of sorts. Lebanese was very historic, and architecturally beautiful. Neither of our families was there. But we both had friends that stood up for us and witnessed the wedding.
HOW TO RESCUE THE TIME & ENERGY TO GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT
We had a little celebration dinner at the local Hilton Hotel and home-made wedding cake back at our apartment. The second wedding was in the States. My parents threw us a big vow renewal at the Presbyterian church close to my hometown in south Chicago. I was raised Lutheran, but the church decided to throw me out because I married a Muslim. Talk about religious fanaticism! Anyway, I got a second wedding dress, a big reception and lots of professional photographs.
Our third wedding was in Calgary, Canada about two weeks after the Winter Olympics were held there. We were on dating first ever visit to his family. I had never met anyone of the family until then. They had a dinner for us and had us dress nicely. There was a Muslim sheikh invited for dinner and soon he had us engaged in conversation about our future plans etc.
Then we signed our names in Arabic click here surprise! It was very sweet, but a little ambush-y. How many children do you have? We had two kids, a boy and a girl. Our daughter is in college and our son is in high school. They were both raised understanding Arabic dating eating Lebanese food. Naturally, they answer Arabic questions with English answers.
My mother-in-law and sister-in-law lived with us intermittently for about five years when the kids were young. During that time I picked up a lot lebanese Arabic skills dealing with my in-laws.
They saved us a lot by providing the daycare while we both worked. How did you incorporate both cultures into their upbringing? We associated with many Lebanese families that we had come to know over the years, so the kids were always exposed to socializing the Lebanese way.
We also took them to Koran classes so they got a basic introduction to Islam and praying the fetaha. We celebrated Ramadan, cooked Lebanese, visited relatives and went to Lebanon three times for extended vacations over the years. Dating takes a whole lot of give and take to make it work. You may have to alienate your family by doing things in favor of his culture. If that will be hurtful, it could lead to disagreements.
Know your tolerance for interfering in-laws if his culture is like that. And you should have similar feelings about saving and spending. But if you can handle it, you will learn so much and have such a rich life. Thanks so much for sharing, Elizabeth! Are any of you dating or married to someone from a different culture?
Let me help you find it! FREE — Download now! What's it like to do Teach For America? Lebanese you ever want to become a classroom teacher in a low-income area That's dating what Samantha did! This is her story. Tell us a bit about yourself! My culture is Samantha. I'm from Michigan, What does it mean to reinvent yourself and your life at 50? I know sooooo many people who feel trapped in their lives or career and they're not even 35!
I'm originally a New How would you navigate life if you lost your leg, hand, and eyesight to a surprise infection How would you cope with re-learning how to walk, parent, be a partner after something like that? That's exactly what lebanese to Dating in Wow, it's so great to see it can work! I'm a first generation american. It's tough at times, he's more of a country person, I'm a big city girl, but the toughest has been dealing with in-laws actually, just the mother in law now that we have a baby.
I'm not married to someone from a different culture, but we are from very different backgrounds and families, and I can see some similarities in the problems we've faced.
His family is a lot closer knit than mine, and I think they've sometimes felt that I've taken him away a bit by living away. I can imagine how much more difficult it would be if we lebanese also from totally different cultures though…. I had no clue what Culture was getting into when we met but I deeply fell in love with my best dating site intro almost immediately and I still love him the same now.
Our marriage has had its challenges ups and downs.
1. The dating scene is "as small as a scorpion's"...nail
It's okay to compliment houses, babies, and jewelry in Arab cultures as long as lebanese add "mashallah" — it means culture you're not jealous and it's a protection against the evil eye. And getting married in three countries is really something. Its good that the children know Arabic. Link site a new language always helps.