Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody. When I asked how many women he had texted like husband he said about 4.
The kids were in the middle of exams so I lived with it. When I asked him who it was he said it was someone at work. I asked him to show me the text. He went to get his phone but spent ages deleting stuff before he brought it. What would you do? Kids have done exams and at uni now so nothing keeping me here. Our sex life is non existent but my doing not his. Focus on that. Go and see a divorce lawyer and starts the first steps towards a wonderful future.
It's normal to feel daunted at the thought of leaving even really awful marriages. Sites isn't a reason to stay. He is untrustworthy and has not changed. He had husband second chance. Log in to update your sites preferences. It sounds like you dont want to be with him and haven't wanted intimacy for some time, he does want intimacy and likes to cheat.
So unless this situation works for you I'd move on, be single or find someone you like. What Honey said. Go talk to a solicitor and get things going. You've done your time with him. It's your turn now. Well if you don't want sex or intimacy it's not really a marriage is it? Of course he shouldn't be on dating sites but in a way I can see his position.
You don't want intimacy. He does. Maybe he doesn't want to leave you but can't live without intimacy so was trying to have both.
My husband on a dating website
I think harsh though it sounds you should think really carefully about why you're in your marriage. Maybe it's time to set each other free. You may be a lot happier in the long run OP. He's obviously up to something. Do yourself a favour and leave him OP. Lifes too short to be miserable. Since this is now the second time he's done this, you can either spend your life being miserable with this man while he lies and cheats OR you can find someone who treasures you like you deserve to be treasured.
Neither of you sound very happy. Is your lack of sex life a symptom of finding these messages or did you not want that side of things before? I'm in no way saying that sites him a free pass to cheat btw I'd also feel sorry for the women he is talking to on this site if he isn't disclosing the fact that he is married at the beginning. I was married and we went a year without dating, it was heartbreaking and really affected my confidence.
What Does Not Work
It meant that towards the end I didnt even want to cuddle or kiss him for funny online dating jokes of rejection, him not wanting sex killed any other kind of intimacy we had. I didnt cheat but I came close and I did end the marriage because of that. I do think intimacy and sex is an important part of any relationship and if you arent feeling that or wanting to discover whether than can be rekindled then that's a sure sign you've come dating the end of the road.
You've been together a long time, it must be terrifying to consider leaving. But you both deserve to be happy op. Him cheating is a cowardly way of dealing with iheartglizzies onlyfans issues but perhaps it's time to consider how you part amicably and start new separate lives that give you both everything you need.
You don't actually love him, do you. Your marriage is a sham. For whatever reasons, your husband is sticking around. But why are you, given that, in your own words, nothing is keeping you there and your sex life is non-existent. Does the lack of sex predate your finding out about his online cheating, or is a consequence thereof? If the latter, and seeing that it first happened 3 or 4 years ago, what steps did you take to address it? You say you lived with it because husband DC's exams - did you simply ignore it? And now you are surprised that HE wants to brush it under the carpet?
Why are you so passive? If you are intimate with him are you safe or get him checked out It's common for men to be on tinder, sites it is easy for them I think you owe yourself some self respect and leave the player. I wonder why married couples do this to each other and accept it I often think why not just invite the other woman around I mean really it's sites your letting him in a way?! You need to both be honest about whether you want this to change or dating you should split. Thanks everyone. The sex dwindled off after the first incident.
I know we need to talk and we did after the first incident but we stopped. Perhaps, if you are not interested in a sex life, and he still is then this is hook up loop sort of workable compromise? It was pretty grubby looking to do this without discussing with you first though. On the other hand if you both to love each other, and it doesn't sound you're desperate to keep him, then perhaps this has run it's road.
OP - it can seem really scary breaking up but I can tell you from experience that it's not the end of the world and you can move on. I split up from my ex wife - not due to affairs but just that we had grown apart, there was no longer intimacy and we wanted different things in life. Life is too short for living in an unhappy situation. Whether it is because you are happy being single in the future or would eventually find another, you deserve to live it the way you want to.
I know it takes courage to leave after what seems like a lifetime together. In my case it's over 40 years, and I dithered for 5 years after his affair. I really, really wish I hadn't. Since I finally left I feel so much more You will too. If you start another thread about starting again after a long marriage, you will get plenty of responses from women who've been where you are and have come out the other side, without regrets and happy with their new lives.
There was no sex, for some people thats a problem. Yes the decent thing is to leave but maybe his sacrifice to the relation is to live with himself knowing he is a cheater so as not to harm the children, like your sacrifice was to turn a blind eye to his betrayal. All i see is a damaged and desperate relation.
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