Posted December 1, Reviewed by Lybi Ma. As one of the contributors to Psychology Today senior letters after my name, I am not about to give members of the opposite sex any hard, fast advice using empirical evidence or citing biological studies. In fact, my husband makes fun of me for trying to pair people up, but he also knows it does not deter me. What I am about to say is pure opinion, with a lot of pipe dreams and advice preferences thrown in. Apologies in advance. Even looks are not as important as personality by the time we reach senior older age.
An average looking guy can transform into a veritable George Clooney before our eyes when all else about him works. This usually does not ring true in the opposite direction, unfortunately.
We don't miraculously become Catherine Zeta Jones because we have a great sense of humor or amazing intellect. Unlike men who hope for younger women to adore them, we tend to prefer men within five years of our dating age -- men we can talk to, walk with, and take anywhere. While there are surely still a few gems out there, what I see more is that many, many older single men:. Phone conversations, texts, and emails can seem promising—perhaps because both parties hope to meet someone special.
Senior, the actual meeting is an entirely different ball game. What a advice may not think about, however, is that even when he has an attractive woman sitting across from him on senior first date, she, too, has had senior life. She may have operated her own business, been an executive, and had had a marriage that brought her joy and children as well as disappointment and heartache. She may have learned more about life than he has or been exposed to worlds he may never have fathomed.
He, like she, must consider sex as a bonus, not the dating prize. While we advice can dust ourselves off and start over, we need to feel a man has earned our affections.
We no advice need a breeder; we need someone who treats us like a prize until we feel comfortable offering a prize. We want dating to care about actually knowing us. I decided to look around for articles about what men in their 50s and 60s are looking for. To be honest, I believe some of the research is skewed; because what men answer in an interview senior on paper may be one thing, while what they want in reality may be entirely different.
They want encouragement, not criticism. They need confirmation, not competition. When I read that, my hackles were up. Her research speaks primarily about how men need validation. For us, the brainwashing started when we were young. We may have been taught by mothers or grandmothers that dating world revolves around men and that if we were smart, we would make men think they were both in charge as well as the superstars of our lives.
Dating married my mother when she was 18 and he was 25, fresh from military duty during WWII. When I heard this, I felt abjectly sorry for my mother, who had felt rescued advice her own miserable family situation when she married my advice.
I looked for comments and reactions to the SixtyandMe article to see if my own gut reaction was off-base. If you are an older guy reading this or you have an older guy friend who might need some suggestions here are a few pointers if you are really looking for that special chick:.
Dress for success. If you look like a schlump, women will escape even that first cup of coffee by saying they have another appointment. Even if you hate shopping for clothes, ask a preferably female friend for help. Pay attention to your shoes and your nails as well. A professional manicure is a wise investment at times like these.
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And please. Answer questions when asked, but the point of meeting a woman is to find out about her. You already know all about yourself. You can share descriptions of your own life later. If you both met dating a dating site or service, separate yourself from all the other jerks she may have met by not always focusing the conversation on you.
Compliment her on something. Her hair. Her clothes. Her voice. Her smile. Nothing sexual. Ever see the movie The American President? Michael Douglas, who plays the leader of the free world, asks his middle school daughter for some advice for a click the following article date with an attractive lobbyist played by Annette Bening. And compliment her on her shoes. Girls like that. She is not a meal ticket just because you still feel you have a lot to offer. Relationships article source not built entirely on a sense of humor or the ability to recall the scores of the past ten Super Bowl games.
If you have health conditions, be honest about them even it risks getting a second date. Oh, and women our age are usually not looking around for a man to take care of, cook full time advice, or fold socks for. Most of us have been there, done that.
We want someone to complement our dating and hope men do, too. You can either say it was great meeting her or you are not feeling a connection. It sounds cold, but at least she will not go home and wait anxiously for the phone to ring or comb her emails for the next two weeks. I welcome any male contributors here to publish an article how to see if spouse is on dating sites what women can do to improve the odds of a first encounter going well. Dena Kouremetis is a freelance senior, author, and professional blogger with a lot to say about life after A diagnosis often brings relief, but it can also come with as many questions as answers.
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Dating Again? Nine Rules for Older Singles
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