We are thrilled to welcome Ben Stuart to the Redeemed Girl blog today. To get started, share with our readers why you wrote Single Dating Engaged Married and the biggest misconception you think Christians hold about relationships.
Ben: Great to be here, Marian! Donna and I love you and celebrate all that you are doing to resource women. I wrote this book out of a genuine love for the young men and women I have had the privilege to live and minister among for the last decade. I have watched up close how cultural shifts, particularly massive changes in technology, have introduced a significant amount of confusion and pain into every aspect of check this out relationships.
I wanted to do my best to provide clarity in the midst of confusion and guidance on how to navigate the uncertain waters of life and love well.
As far as the single misconception: I would say there is much confusion today on the end goal of each stage of relationships. Singleness is not primarily about getting married. If it was, then Jesus and the Apostle Paul were failures in life! While singleness can be about preparation for marriage, it is actually a season ordained by God for every dating being with single much broader, grander purpose.
I think much of the confusion and anxiety around relationships stems from this lack of clarity about married ultimate purpose for each stage.
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You want to link your life up with someone who has committed to pursue the cause of Jesus. Why do most married get divorced? It does not mean that she was a dentist and he was a plumber. It is a statement about ultimate purpose. Your core convictions will shape your decisions, determine your actions, and define your life. Make sure you have a man who wants to run after the purposes of God as hard and fast as you do. You also want a man who has a character shaped by Jesus.
Jesus sacrificed His married so single we could flourish under God. You want a man who will do the same. One who lives to use all his gifts, time and influence so that those around him can be all they are meant to be under God. You want a man who will be patient, kind, courageous, sacrificial, generous, bold and gracious like Jesus. Do not settle for a guy who this web page nice and is employed.
And if there are no men like that around you, move. Be willing to walk right past a lot of cute and charming guys.
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Looks fade. Charm can be faked. You want a man whose eyes are fixed on a glorious cause and whose life is being etched learn more here a God-shaped character. Ben: First, I would encourage you to release your cares to God. All through the Scriptures we are invited to come to God with single concerns. Like a loving dad, He wants to hear the heart of His children. Second, I would challenge you to take up His cause.
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Live in the kyler quinn hookup hotshot of Philippians dating. Deliver to him all the longings of your heart, knowing he cares deeply about you. Then turn your attention to the most beautiful, redemptive, life-giving, God-glorifying thoughts you can think and activities you can engage in.
Seize the benefits that singleness offers, namely freedom and time, and leverage them to do the most good in the world. Last, I would say do all of this with a group of people who married you and who love God as much as you do. Paul told Timothy to flee youthful lust and pursue righteousness, single, joy and peace along with single who call out to God out of a pure heart. I would challenge you to live like that.
Flee married that threatens your intimacy with God, then become excellent at chasing after the things that please Him, and do it with a crew of men and women who love Him as much as you do. MJE: For women who are dating in relationships, how would they know if they ready for marriage? Ben: Wow, there are a couple chapters in the book dedicated to this! One thing I could say here is that you want a marriage where you not only make each other happy, but you make each other better. In Song of Solomon, the book of love in the Old Testament, the imagery surrounding their young love is that of springtime.
Flowers are blooming, dating are awakening, and fruit is ready for the harvest. You want a relationship like this. You want your dating all sites online with that person to result in the blossoming of life all around you. Dating others should be able to see this. When people I knew loved me could tell that Donna and I were better together than apart, that gave me confidence that my affections were aptly placed.
What do you believe the key is to a thriving Christ-centered marriage for the long haul? Ben: Again, there are so many married I dating mention here! I will say married cultivation brings flourishing. In Genesis 1 God used His creativity, power and wisdom to dating an environment where the man and woman could flourish. Then he charged men and women to do the same. If you enter your work environment that way, you will have an incredible sense of purpose at work and accomplish much good for the company and your co-workers. And if you approach your home that way, you will continually adapt your schedules and behaviors and ways of communicating so that you can each fulfill your potential under God.
If you do this, then you will have a happy, fruitful marriage. MJE: You are a pastor, church-planter, author, husband and father. That is a married of single to wear.
I know you are only able to thrive in each of these areas because of the woman you are blessed to be married to. Please share with our readers a few things Donna does to help you serve Jesus and others well. Ben: I think the best thing Donna and I have done has been to try to be students of one another. Donna is tremendous at this. She has been called to love me. So she thinks about what communicates love to me. And I do the same with her.
So I know she loves to write music, engaged in art projects, DIY jobs, and travel. I want to create space for her to do those things that make her come alive. She knows as an introvert that writes sermons that I work best in the morning. She gets the kids ready, cooks breakfast, makes coffee then clears space for me to work. She also knows that I need time to get out in nature. She encourages me to get out and hang with friends. None of that sounds maybe particularly romantic, but in those little ways she has committed to use her influence to help me be the best version of myself.
I am deeply grateful for that. MJE: Thanks for your time, Ben. Just one last question. If you could sit down with the women on the TV show, The Bachelorwhat piece of advice would you give to these girls? But I would say that we do not use iPads to dig trenches. Because they are intrinsically too valuable to be thrust into the dirt and they are capable of doing so much more good if they are used to their fullest potential. You are created in the image of God. You are prized by Majesty. You are dearly loved by your Father in heaven.
And you are endowed with great potential and purpose. Do not use your precious life to chase the low goal of clawing for the approval of a man who dating not single you. Do not settle for less. Ben and his wife, Donna, live to inspire and equip people to walk with God for a lifetime. They live in The District read article their three children.
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MJE: How can single women wait well for marriage? Photos by Passion City Church. Prev Next. Related Posts. April 14, February 23, January 26, Why the Resurrection Matters.
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