No fees, cancel anytime. An email with a link to reset your password was sent to the email address associated with your account. Your account isn't active yet.

We've emailed you an activation link. Please check your inbox and click the link to activate your account. Join 1. You're on the list! Expect to receive your first email very soon! Open list views K views. Not your original work? Add source. The dreaded Tinder bio. Or, as we like to call it, the bane of your online dating experience. Its duty is to show off your personality without making you sound like an overconfident douchebag.

It all adds up to one big headache that makes you want to throw your phone against the wall. People tend to lean profiles familiar tropes when writing about themselves. But then, swipe after swipe, your eyes profiles catch on to something different — a profile that is just as funny and interesting as that sexy human it belongs to.

The Tinderverse is full of clever people with beautiful faces who are all trying to do the same thing: get noticed, and some have done it incredibly well. These bios are so good they will put yours to shame.

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Or just use them as inspiration to create your own, you lazy bum. This post may include affiliate links. I'm bad at everything. Sorry, that was a horrible ice breaker. Ate both. Seeking a duet partner. I'd gladly take my mom to costume parties, she'll do all the interacting while I stand in a corner on my phone with her constantly saying "you can't just stand in the corner dating your phone".

Look down, back up, where are you? I have it. Look again, the pizza is now your favorite dog. Solid sense of humor. Makes me dating how old the guy is since the ads this is based on were at least a decade weird. Unless I've missed new ones. Click at this page drawing gets locked in a safe, on a boat. The boat sinks. And her nude photo still ends up on TV 84 years later. So no, I will not be sending nudes.

No one is safe. She also has to be really clingy and jealous. I prefer women who talk a lot about their ex and a love for da bootyliciousness. In my free time, I like to take off my shirt and take selfies.

Hilarious And Creative Tinder Bios That Put Yours To Shame

I work nights fighting crime. I drink Mt Dew like most people drink coffee. Twizzlers, especially the cherry nibs are bomb. Red Vines should profiles illegal. And oddly, not a single word of this is false. Couple of kids. Looking for some side action. Just kidding. Sadly, i married such a guy for only that reason - but HE told me too late but kept saying it profiles "love" for a few years while refusing to share leisure with me.

So I couldn't cancel horny dating wedding but had to go through the divorce. Message the hell out of me.

Cons: Can only make pasta. I'm funny". I just want a guy to buy me flowers, send me a million cute texts and call me mine. Take me out on a date, buy me some food and try to get me naked at the end like a real gentleman. Every single time. I need at least 2 weeks notice. And after mastering Italian, I became an international super spy. Okay, fine.

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Then go and read the first letter of each line. Yup, i can relate to that, i got Lost in a 2 storie building once, and again in a circular building shopping center. Oh man, weird joke about my apearance, and my defects, but not even i would say that, thats not funny, that just sad. I pick you up at 8 for half-priced apps at the Bees. We get our food. I say you look pretty. You agree. I take weird home and awkwardly hug you in your driveway. I go home and Tweet about finding true love. I get two favorites and a reply calling me crazy. The perfect date.

Who folds fitted sheets? It looks folded. Yes, they are real!!! So many gym selfies. Shirtless gym selfies, cut-off tee gym selfies, pull-my-shirt-up gym selfies, mid-workout gym selfies. Just gym selfies. Proceed with caution. Just be John Cusack outside my window with a boombox. Not just for me but for my wife if she shows up. Fold them in three and place them in your handbag.

Return them washed and we will consummate passionately. Those are 2 measurements. That's from Jurassic Park, Ian Malcolm, line in the car when he's talking to the blond botanist, i forgot her name. I live with my grandparents but that will hopefully change soon. A simple synopsis of myself: — Daddy issues — Rapidly declining self-esteem — Overly possessive and jealous — Drama queen — Gold-digger.

Let's look at the positives -Won't have to worry about parents -Low standards -Protective weird never have to make a fuss over anything she will -Your dating stable. Say hi to the whiskey girl. Hope you like sarcasm and being insulted. So am I supposed to get all my horny out with you then? How gracious of you! They disappeared one night a few dating ago and I heard I might be able to find them here.

Please contact me if you have any pertinent information. I like mine with someone special. I like my coffee the same way I like my women. Bonus points if you dislike the outdoors.

Provide pleasure whenever requested 2. I love cleaning 3. I can cook meals fit for your dietary needs 4. My no.