Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody. Ok bit of back story. Been a rocky road after first son was born. Husband very selfish, didn't realise it until a couple of years learn more here that I husband being gaslit, taking verbal abuse and terrible look calling.
Tried to get out, not finding it easy as probably trauma bonded and also don't why enough to be anywhere near confident financially. Husband also functioning alcoholic will only admit to this whilst drunk and has begged me to help him, not leave him. And he's still abusive. He tells me constantly I'm too sensitive and effing mental and that no one else would want me cos I'm such a psycho. Fast forward to this morning, was clearing up sites son's room and dating husband had been using his comp and his mailbox was open.
Went to shut down comp as was going out with my kids and saw a "welcome to eharmony" email. He'd used a fake name but his own email address. Wondering dating to do. How to confront him. Tempted to sign up and catch him in the act but my friend said you have to pay to use the site. What would you all do? I know I need to book in with a solicitor next week to discuss starting off a divorce. Dating site info, try to find him on the site, or screen shot the welcome email and send it to his family I'm tempted with that one Don't waste your energy.
Spend your time on yourself and kids. Making a plan. Not with this sort of bollocks. Sorry I misread. I see you want to start divorce. Good luck.
Starve what you want to whither. Starve your focus on your partner. You have fed it much too long. Don't give it a single morsel. It is exhausting isn't it? You seem to have become hyper vigilant. Gaslighting does that to you. It's so much better when it ends. Use your energy in planning your life without him. Figure out what you need and can do to try to make that life the best it can be. Plus your earnings. Plus - maybe some benefits.
Start from that and think about how to organise your life. Or if you need to do something to up your earnings. You are married to an abusive alcoholic. And have been for years. Not sure why a sign-up to eharmony is something that really bothers you at this stage. What would that achieve? His family will not be on your side. This is when you screenshot and record everything for your solicitor.
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Log in to update your newsletter preferences. Sorry only just seen this. Saving up to divorce him. I confronted him, he denied it. Then said his mates probably did it in the pub and he can't remember!
The sign on time was 1pm! I then found a tinder gold subscription. Not even the free one! I confronted him very calmly and recorded the conversation. Once again he denied it at first.
Then said he just have been drunk. Why admitted it saying he only wanted to look around.
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Then accused me of cheating because apparently I would only know to look in subscriptions for it if I was doing the same thing myself. Utterly bonkers!!!! It really doesn't matter, OP. Fault divorce doesn't exist any more, so you're only beating yourself up by chasing look intended infidelity.
Calmly get on with divorcing him and look forward to life without an abusive alcoholic. It's great voice of experience. Thank you. Does he know your intention to divorce him? Im so sorry you found more. My husband tried to set a dating profile up husband 1am.
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Half completed, never activated, welcome email in his inbox asking him to complete his account. At first he said he couldnt remember, then it was a joke, then sites set it up to view a celebrities profile. I then found his cam girl account no interactions but still. Oh and before we got married i caught him sexting a woman just once apparently. Im in total denial as he is so kimd and good in the day to day. I wish you well OP. Thanks for replying. Annoymous1 I've told him I've had enough and that I've taken advice from a solicitor and want to get the does to a point where we can put it https://telegram-web.online/how-is-dating-a-white-man-different.php the market.
He doesn't believe I've done all that, but I have. I've seen several solicitors to get as much advice as I can and found one I like. He said first job is to sell the house and as we are half way through renovations I need to stop them and get it to a state that's good to sell.
OH doesn't seem to want that. Not sure he believes I'll go through with it. But I have more issues than the dating sites. He's been verbally destructive for years, but im only just waking up to it all. I've realised he's gaslighted me for years, destroyed my self esteem all the while telling me im the crazy one, im overly sensitive speed dating lublin. I'm in a different county to my family so pretty isolated and it's mad how much his words sank in and I believed them.
Lived in a fog for years. Got two kids so was desperate to try and fix things to keep us all together but OH doesn't believe he's in the wrong. Everyone else is to blame. There's no changing Jim so I have to leave for the sake of the kids. I have no money though click im scared but I can't stay. Desperately trying to save money now for the divorce so I can finally push the button on it.
I guess the decision is easier for me as my OH was generally horrible in the day. Not always, but he kept just enough of good times to keep me picking out the breadcrumbs. It must be harder when all other things seem does. Healthy marriages don't involve dating apps. Why has he felt the need to "look around". I hate that as an excuse. I got that from my husband when he finally admitted to the accounts. He just wanted to "see what was out there".
And then what.?