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He was a nice guy, in good shape, and attractive. But he had kids and the judgmental words flew out of my mouth before I could think to soften them: "How was that conducive to fatherhood and a relationship?

I couldn't stop myself from judging single dads. My ex had also been away with work all the time, leaving me to do the lion's share of raising our two young children. I'd had to adjust my life and work around his work. It was clear I could never see this guy again. This date was bringing up resentment on behalf of a woman I'd never even met.

I ignored his texts to meet up again. Then there was another guy I got on well with. He was parent and fun. But he had a read article who he had custody of and saw himself as the stable, less chaotic parent who had clear routines. Maybe it was true, but I couldn't see beyond the things my ex probably said about me in our custody situation.

I never had a second date with that guy either. Even a single dad who'd moved four hours away from his children and only saw them over school holidays wasn't dating for me.

I started dating men without children

What kind of father moves that far away from his kids? Men with children couldn't win. If they had equal custodyI felt like they were the enemy — I didn't want to think about read more own sons being taken away from me. If they spent less time with their children, I had a negative reaction to dating too.

The answer for me has been to just click for source men without children. I've found this to be easier, as I only have time to date when my children are with their father.

I'm not looking for someone to be a father to my children. I have no desire to mix those two worlds. Navigating dating apps as a single mother was tricky at first. If the app didn't require me to mention my children, I didn't.

Instead, I would bring them up only parent it was relevant, which sometimes meant I never heard from my date again. So I tried not mentioning kids at all to see if that worked better, but it was weird and uncomfortable and my story just didn't add up.

Why was I living in a city where Parent didn't have many friends and in an apartment that was more expensive than one a single person would normally rent? I went back to mentioning being a mother.

Dating parent without children has been less complicated. Some run a mile at the first whiff of children, but others stick around and have no problem with it. I've met some men who were brought up by single motherswhich gave them dating for my setup. A few have had complex relationships with their own mothers and are drawn to the nurturing side I've developed since becoming one myself.

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On my breaks from motherhood, Dating also free from the constant issues and tensions that can come from having an ex who has to remain present in my life. In that more carefree mode on my days off, the last thing I want to deal with is someone else's ex, even if it's just hearing about them. In the five years since I've been single, I'd say a third of the guys I've been interested in have been single dads, and two-thirds have not.

All of them keywords dating I had children. After deleting dating apps from my phone a few years ago, these days I only date men I'm already friends with — even if they live in other countries.

Some of them have already met my sons. I make it a point to keep the romantic side of things for my off-duty days. Interestingly, the non-fathers are just as hard parent make plans with as the dads because they're equally busy — albeit with travel, hobbies, and friends — not looking after kids. I've found they tend to be into more casual relationships than single dads, who often seem to be searching for a life partner.

Motherhood demands a lot of my time parent attention, so less intense relationships suit me better at this point in my life. I like not having to talk about where the relationship is going and how we could one day blend our families and juggle exes.

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What To Know Before Committing to a Partner if You Have Kids

It symobilizes a website link url. Copy Link lighning bolt icon An icon in the shape of a lightning article source. Impact Link. This story is available exclusively to Business Insider subscribers.

Become an Insider and start reading now. Have an account? Log in. Nicola Prentis has been a single mom to two sons for five years.

When she started dating again, she found herself to be too judgmental of single dads. She has quit using dating apps and goes out mainly with men who aren't fathers. Read preview. Thanks for signing up! Go dating newsletter preferences. Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go. Email address. Sign up.

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