Erik Torenberg man. Hypergamy is the tendency for women to want to date the best men, no matter where the woman is in the hierarchy. Suppose that a woman has two preferences. First of all, she wants a tall man. Second of all, she wants a long-term exclusive relationship.
What the data indicate is that these two preferences are in conflict.
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Because of competition, tall men are harder to get dates with. And even if you get a date with a tall man, you are less likely to end up in a long-term exclusive relationship, because he will be distracted by having so many other possibilities.
In this situation, consider what a woman might achieve by adopting a strategy of deliberately dating short men. By seeking a short man, a man can give herself a much better chance of ending up in a long-term relationship. She would have less competition to date a short man. And the short man would have fewer opportunities to find another relationship. If all of a sudden many women were to short this strategy, then it would not work as well. Following this short would increase the competition for short men and decrease the competition for man men.
Why would women continue to only date tall Such dating pisces man will, when dating short men seems much more likely to result in a long-term relationship? Perhaps tall men are so superior to short men that it is worth taking a low-probability chance of landing a tall man. There is so little value in a long-term relationship with a short man that is not worth attempting. Perhaps dating a short man sends a strong negative status signal. She must be really desperate. Perhaps women do not really want long-term, exclusive relationships these days.
What they truly want is a fling dating a tall man. They would rather risk being single than settle for a long-term relationship with a short man. Perhaps women do not understand the short of the data. It could be some combination of these things, or something else.
But I worry that 3 and 4 play at least some role. I worry that dating apps really have turned women into idiots. There is an illusion of endless quantity of men, and all you know of a potential match is his photo, stated height, and perhaps one line of text. Women who meet men in real life are much more likely to date short and average height men.
Though typically women won't date a man shorter than herself. If you take the average height of all men married in a given year, it is probably the same height as the average adult male dating. Share this post. The Strategy of Dating Short Men arnoldkling. Copy link. Arnold Kling. Sep 24, Some possible explanations: Perhaps tall men are so superior to short men that it is worth taking a low-probability chance of landing a tall man. Erik Torenberg. The Matching Problem in Dating. In previous pieces we talked about population decline and the decline of marriage.
I’m A Short Man Struggling to Find Love. What Do I Do?
Even before online dating, there were factors that created less dependence between men and women. The sexual revolution meant men and women no longer needed to depend on marriage fo….
Discussion about this post Comments. Esme Fae. Expand full comment. Dating apps incentivize filtering on shallow dating like height. Dating apps aren't marriage apps, they're hook up apps. Ready for more? Start Writing Get the app. Substack is the home for great culture. This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please turn on JavaScript or unblock scripts. Expand full comment Reply Share.