Mona Chalabi : One winter a couple years ago, some of my cousins came to visit me in New York. And introducing him first to these cousins, who are pretty close first me in age, seemed like a nice way to kind of ease him first the weirdness of my Arab clan. We all met up at a dingy, BYOB falafel restaurant in the village.
So, we ordered our falafel and first making small talk. My boyfriend asked my cousins what they did for work My cousins looked at each other and then they looked dating me. There was a long, awkward pause. Our family is from Iraq, where a lot of people marry their cousins.
The Mindful NPE Chats With Grey Genetics About Her DNA Surprise
But Reem and Leila? They grew up in the U. Every culture has taboos. Taboos cousin often elicit visceral reactions. Essentially, taboos are a kind of social control that tell us which behaviors are acceptable and which are unacceptable.
Some of these are helpful guidelines for how we should behave, like the taboo dating public masturbation. But other taboos reinforce hurtful power dynamics Taboos are a big part of culture, and I find it fascinating that something that is seen as repulsive in one society can be seen as an everyday practice in a different one.
I use numbers to understand the world. I grew up in a country where cousin marriage is not illegal, but it is taboo. So, I learned to be grossed out by it, even though people in my extended family are married to their cousins. And so, my feelings about this particular taboo are I love Reem and Leila, and their parents. But to feel proud of that, to say that to you now, it reinforces the shame that Reem and Leila are made to feel about the fact that their parents are cousins.
Status and territories
Why is this taboo so strong in the U. Cousin marriage is first common around the world, especially in countries in the Middle East, South Asia, and North Africa. That is more than million people. But the map of cousin marriage laws in the U. In some states, including New YorkCaliforniaand Floridayou can marry your first cousin with no restrictions. But in many other states, like West VirginiaKentuckyand Texascousin marriage is banned altogether.
And then there are the states that allow cousin marriage but have some interesting caveats. Why genetic counseling? Cousin all this focus on offspring?
But is that true? I reached out to Wendy Chunga geneticist at Columbia University. Chung also counsels and treats families with genetic disorders. Wendy Chung : So genetics to me is extremely logical. It just, it makes sense to me and it's logically having an answer that's a definitive answer. And that's very satisfying, to be able to understand the science and help the individuals, those families that are affected.
Mona Chalabi : As an embryo grows in the womb, there are all sorts of ways that genes can change and cause disorders. I'd love to like drill into some numbers if possible. So, in order to understand this a little bit better, how does the rate of genetic diseases among the offspring of, say, first cousins compare to the general population? A couple that's first cousins, we'll double that risk. Depending on your circumstances, there are loads of reasons why you might want to marry your dating.
See, your cousin is the known quantity, the safer bet. In Europe and North Cousincousin marriage used to be pretty common. Often, cousin marriage is quite safe: it might even be a pretty good idea. But in certain populations or specific families, there might be more risks. Wendy Chung : There are certain conditions where it takes two to tango, is the way I talk about it.
You have two copies of your gene, one from your mom, one from your dad, and for certain of these conditions, it takes these genetic changes in both copies of the genes to cause a problem, largely because the gene is not showing up to work and not doing its job.
Mona Chalabi : When Dr. But some of them are pretty well-known, and pretty serious, like sickle cell anemia, cystic fibrosis, or spinal muscular atrophy. Most of us— most people in the world —carry a few anomalous recessive genes.
Wendy Chung : There is definitely, when you share twelve and continue reading half percent of your genetic information with click the following article partner, there's an increased risk that both of you will carry a mutation within the same gene that you've inherited from a common ancestor. Mona Chalabi : What Dr. Chung is saying is: first and your first cousin share And if BOTH of you are carriers for the same recessive genetic condition?
Mona Chalabi And to figure out the genetic risk involved in a cousin marriage, Dr. Wendy Chung : It's not just a matter of first-cousin marriages, it's actually the larger population context in which that's happening.
And so, what I mean by that is that, in certain communities, there may have been intermarriages for generations. And in fact, that whole, whether it's a, an island, a village, a city, you know, there may have been, a relatively high frequency of certain genetic link in certain genes that confer a higher risk of disease.
And dating I'll just give you an example, in certain Royal families, for instance, and this has been true—. Mona Chalabi : Like the British one! Wendy Chung : Right? And so, with certain Royal families, first been, in terms of keeping the power, keeping the wealth within the family, that's the way this cousin done.
And so it's not simply a matter of sharing, you know, It's actually potentially sharing a much larger fraction of your genetic information, because of those relationships over multiple generations.
Is it really that bad to marry my cousin? (Transcript)
Mona Chalabi : Dr. Chung is saying, when a population has LOTS of cousin marriage in its pastthere is a higher risk of having children with genetic disorders. Each family, each couple, is different. That is particularly important in communities where those disorders are more prevalent Chung works with. Wendy Chung : One member from the community, Rabbi Ecksteinwas unfortunately tragically affected with his family because he had multiple children with Tay-Sachs disease. And as some dating know, Tay-Sachs is a lethal condition.
We still to this day have no treatment for this and children die, you know, before the age of five and it's not a pleasant way to go. And it can be stigmatizing in terms of knowing that you're a cousin for Tay-Sachs. And if your family had this—I call it the scarlet letter G—that you, your family has this certain genetic condition, you might not be as desirable in terms of the matchmaking in the community.
Mona Chalabi : Matchmaking is how most marriages in the community are made. And that cultural practice became an opportunity to solve the problem of Tay-Sachs. Rabbi Eckstein came up with a plan to dating young people get a genetic test before being matched with prospective partners. Dating carriers would only be matched with non-carriers. Wendy Chung : So it would be better, rather than for you to have to go through and potentially have a child with Tay-Sachs, to be able to find someone else.
And, and cousin, that has been extremely well-accepted, well-regarded, and this program now has in fact been transformative for the Orthodox Jewish community, in that we really don't see Tay-Sachs anymore. And with the help of science—things like genetic counseling and IVF—communities can minimize the risk of recessive conditions even more. Wendy Chung : I want to be very clear, I'm not telling couples https://telegram-web.online/difference-between-dating-and-being-in-a-relationship.php to have children.
It's mainly to me about giving couples information and options and, you know, letting them make decisions about what's right for them. And with modern science, cousin marriage is probably safer than ever. So people were using inaccurate information to justify the cousin marriage cousin.
Understanding Genealogical Bewilderment and Identity Disruption
And now that you all know what the genetic risks are, the taboo should suddenly be lifted, right? Back inI got a seemingly simple question from a reader: How many Americans are married to their cousins? Assured, professional dating site photos hope went digging and the best available data I could find was from It said that 0.
I wrote a online predators about it, including information about the science of genetic disorders and cousin marriage. It was the most read article on the site, and it got a whole bunch of reactions on social media and in the reader comments. I think that is normal when you are 15 and the only members of the opposite sex who will talk to you are relatives. I had written about the genetic stuff, and the article did seem to allay some old fears I suppose that genetic risk is pretty much diluted by now.
That is nasty. This explains a lot. I am used to getting a lot of online abuse.