While I have never thought much about this games in the past, immersing into the dating world in the past few weeks has made me consider it in much depth.
I can totally understand the constant references of dating as a game in the seduction and dating world. When dating…. About four years ago, Jane sought out online dating to look for a long-term relationship partner. Jane had been in various relationships which ended for one reason or another. After much dating, Jane was ready to look for a serious, long-term relationship and perhaps settle down. She was 31 then. After a few months of meeting incompatible matches on Match. At this point, Jane was open to giving any good quality prospect a shot, for she was tired of dates that went nowhere.
So they met for their first date. Within minutes of seeing each other, the chemistry was instant. At the end of the date, Jane was eager to see John again. They then met for a second date, which led on to a third date, fourth date, fifth date, and more. Jane liked John a lot. She felt that John could very well be the one for her.
Oh, okay, Jane thought. She played it cool, withheld her true self, and never showed much of her real thoughts and emotions. If John ever asked Jane deep, personal questions to know her better, Jane would dance around the situation and respond with something dating instead. Two months passed. Jane and John were still dating each other, just non-exclusively. John and Dating pool pump hookup intex meeting on a regular basis — sometimes once a week, sometimes several times a week.
One fine week, Jane had an upcoming date with John. She was looking forward to seeing him again. On the night before the date itself, Jane received a call from John. Excited to see him calling, she answered dating. You seem shallow and superficial and it playing like you are playing around and not looking for something serious or deep.
I cry all the times at the movies! I want to settle down and be with someone one day! You are getting it all wrong! In a last ditch effort to salvage the situation, Jane, without even thinking, playing pouring her heart out to John over the phone.
In between sobs and tears, she explained the reasoning behind her evasive behavior in the past two months. She related the advice her friend, A, had given her, and the rationale behind it. She explained that she had been intentionally holding her true self back because she liked him a lot and she thought that was the right thing to do.
To her, this was her one chance to get things right. John could well be the guy for her! Forget embarrassment — that was the last thing on her mind. All she was thinking was how to salvage the situation — if it could even be salvaged to begin with. Games was quiet throughout the entire outburst as he listened to what Jane had to say. Forget what I said just now. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Today, they are married, just had their first baby, and are more in love than they have ever been. You know, I totally get the rationale behind such seduction and dating tactics.
For guys, you would have your own games of tactics in approaching and handling girls which would each have its rationale as well. These seduction dating dating tactics have their merits; they really do. I have no doubt that there are girls who get marvelous results from applying said tactics, just as there are guys who successfully win the playing of ladies from sticking to the rules of the seduction dating dating book.
For these guys and girls, they might have had huge difficulty in dating prior to learning said rules. For these guys and girls, these approaches might have saved their dating lives and helped them to find their special someones in the sea of singles.
Why Dating is Like a Game
Firstly, seduction tactics not all, but many tend to be fear-based in nature. Why is that? Because they focus on lower-level actions to draw attention and elicit interest rather than a heart-level connection. They also often involve manipulation and ingenuity to a certain extent e. People who games seduction tactics often do so because they like to be in control; much of what seduction is about is about control and maintaining the upper hand over the other person the person you are trying to seduce.
These are already fear-based feelings in themselves. Long-term PE readers should know where I stand on fear-based approaches by now. When you use fear-based tactics, you are only going to attract fear-based people at the end of the day. Secondly, in employing these fear-based tactics, you self-sabotage yourself.
It's Time to Stop Playing Mind Games While Dating
Because not only would you attract the fear-based people, you keep out genuine daters — the ones you are truly looking for. I once had a friend who told me to approach dating like it was a game.
Congratulate, nora rose jean onlyfans agree shared this tip with two of my close friends, who have been together for over eight years and are in a committed, an narcissist dating avoidant, relationship they just had a baby!
I heard what P said, but never made a direct conclusion to the topic. Sometimes it is well possible that these people are missing the point.
The point is to reflect for yourself and go games the approach that works best for you. To keep yourself from being vulnerable, from ever being hurt, from even having to put yourself out there playing begin with. At the end of the day, no one wants to be hurt. Everyone really just wants to be safe from harm. And you know what? I say forget this tango you are trying to do with love, and put yourself out there to really more info and be loved.
Because until you allow yourself to be vulnerable, open, and susceptible, you are never going to click the kind of love you want — true, authentic love. Love that is real, unpretentious, unconditional, and nonjudgmental. Forget fear of hurt, fear of humiliation, fear of being vulnerable, fear of being continue reading down, or any other fear you may have. As long playing you carry such fears with you, you will not attract the kind of romantic relationship that you really want.
This means if you feel like going out with someone, simply let it be known to the person vs. If you like the person, express it openly through your care https://telegram-web.online/hookup-network.php concern.
You will find such an approach less taxing on your heart and soul as well. Be open to accommodate, but retain your core identity. Always be aware that you are dealing with real people and real emotions, and everything you do affects these people as well. Be in tune with your real emotions, and react based on those emotions, rather than sticking to some elaborate stratagem designed to elicit certain responses.
Remember that in love, it is about being authentic. I hope you found this piece useful. Chew on what I have shared here and consider the three tips with depth. They are very important IMO and are the three principles that I apply in my dating journey today. Update : About six months after I wrote games post, Dating found and got together with my true soulmate and husband. Image: Pacman. Thanks for reading. About Me ».
If you like my free articles, join my private email list and get my latest updates and articles sent right to your inbox. Search Close this search box. Do You Treat Dating as a Game?
Why Dating is Like a Game I can totally understand the constant references of dating as a game in the seduction and dating world. When dating… …you are a player in a world of possibilitieswhere the possibilities are up to you.
A : Jane, whatever you do, do NOT give him any personal information. This will keep him interested. Jane : Oh really? A : Yes, just play it cool the whole time. Whenever he asks you personal questions, tell him something else. It is about preserving your mystery and allure. John : Hey Jane? Jane : Hey John! Listen, I was thinking — I think we should cancel the date tomorrow and stop seeing each other.