I officially separated from my ex-husband in March and took full advantage of that confusing time period to take the time to really get to know myself. I'd gotten married at 23 years old with next to no dating experience prior to that and suddenly found myself 35 and curious about who I was. No one was more surprised than I was when I met someone that September.

We believe in creating a world in which all mothers are thriving

I dating jumped on a dating app at the encouragement of friends, who were sure that I'd meet someone — just as sure as I was that the experience would be a waste of time. I'd give it two hours, I told them, and so I set a timer and began sending screenshot after screenshot of messages from men who wanted to meet up that night, who told me I would have to give up my home and move into theirs, and one memorable fellow who said I would have to quit horseback riding lessons because he was allergic spoiler: I did not.

With about 10 minutes to go in my experiment, I connected with a basketball coach and philanthropist that I was actually into, and nearly four years later, we single still together. He was headed out of the country for two months the next day, which gave us the time to get to know each other through phone calls and texts without any pressure of a date. At the time, this was ideal — I had no idea just how much of a novice I was when it came to relationships.

Once he got back into town that November, we met up in person and began to spend several days a week together, and by January, he was staying over more often than not.

We usually saw each other on the days my son was at his dad's house, but my excitement at having found single who felt so right for me and my life quickly spilled dating to excitement about introducing my thenyear-old son to him, too.

In retrospect, I can admit that I rushed things in a way that I don't know if I would do again if we met now.

I've only understood this as other friends have begun dating and held off on introducing their children to their new partners for six months, a year, or even longer. I had no way of knowing what it would feel like to believe someone was so meant for me — and no way of knowing that I would be so eager for my son to get to know this great person, too.

In a lot of ways, I even admire the Pollyanna-esque spirit with which I could still approach the world and relationships at that time, and can find sweetness at the core of my intention. If you're in love and you have a kid you love, naturally, you want both of your loves to parent each other, right? But as an older, wiser, and parent more experienced mom and woman, I can understand why some parents wait. I had spent over a decade married to one person, and was very much still in a marriage mindset when I met my partner.

Instead of wanting to go out and drink until 2 a. I single trying to replace my son's father — who is very involved in his life — in any capacity, but was actively, anxiously, and excitedly trying to introduce a new adult my son could trust into his life, sometimes I worry before he was really ready, because I love how family feels at its core and wanted to have that with the two of them. A lot of experts advise waiting six months to a year into a new relationship before introducing partners and children.

Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Brad Falchuk didn't live together until they had been married for a year because of their kids, something that I don't think I could ever do, but years down the road, I can see the wisdom in something like that.

I started dating men without children

If there is one change I might have made if I could, I would https://telegram-web.online/dating-later-in-life.php gone a lot slower with parent my child and my partnerintroducing them to one another first over a longer period of time first by talking about them to each other, then with a click at a park or anime store, then maybe family dinners that eventually lead dating saratoga everyone in the same house together all the time.

Of course, dating the end, the path I walked was the right one for us, and I wouldn't change what happened at all. I am a big believer in the idea that what we live is what we are meant to, and the relationship my partner and son have is one that I really appreciate and am entertained by.

While I do think taking things slower in this one aspect would have probably saved my son and me a few emotional conversations, ultimately, we all ended up exactly where and with whom we were supposed to be.

Close icon Two dating lines that form an 'X'. It indicates a way to close an interaction, or dismiss a notification.

True life: Dating while being a single mom to young kids is complicated

Home Newsletters. Essay by Stephanie Kaloi. Share icon An curved arrow pointing right. Share Facebook Icon The letter F. Facebook Email icon An envelope. It indicates the ability to send an email.

Email Twitter icon A stylized bird with an open mouth, tweeting. Single symobilizes a website link url. Copy Link lighning bolt icon An icon in the shape of a lightning bolt. Impact Link.

This story is available exclusively to Business Insider subscribers. Become an Insider and start reading now. Have an account? Log in. A few months after my ex-husband and I separated, I joined a dating app. I was surprised when I quickly met someone I was excited about. Parent introduced him to my son fairly quickly, and if I was single again, I might do it differently. Read preview. Thanks for signing up! Go to newsletter preferences. Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed here you're on the go.

Email address. Sign up.

I was told I’d hurt my family with “a revolving door of men.” But it’s been great.

You can opt-out at any time by visiting our Preferences page or by clicking "unsubscribe" at the bottom of the email. Related stories. Read next.