T hey say that love, like wine, gets better in time. According to a new study, couples who drink together have better relationships — and they may even live longer, too. The report, conducted by scientists at the University of Michigan, was based on interviews with more than 4, married or cohabiting couples that took place every two years over the space of two decades.

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The researchers concluded that having similar drinking habits is so bryce hall because it reflects other lifestyle compatibilities. Because the way we drink says a lot more about the way we live our lives than we might think. It dictates how we spend our time and who we spend it with.

It defines the structure around our weekends. It determines the days we have the energy to spend out and about, compared to those we waste on our sofas as we battle out a hangover. The more synergies there are in the habits, the more congruence there is in the lifestyle compatibility. The faster you realise this, the better. I was not surprised, and saddened, of course, as he suffered a stroke due to this stress. I had a lucky escape. It can be particularly difficult to spot a drinking "non," though, given how warped societal ideas click alcoholism are, and the myths and stereotypes that persist and subsequently stop people from realising when they need help.

According to the charity Drink Awaresigns of alcoholism include impaired control over alcohol use, giving increasing priority to drinking in your daily life, and experiencing unwanted physical or mental effects from drinking, alongside an increased tolerance.

But what happens when someone recognises non in themselves non, after deciding to go sober, starts dating people who drink?

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Or just taking some time off? For some couples, this is an ongoing dating. Jess has been with her boyfriend for nine years but still struggles with the incompatibility. Of course, all this can be exacerbated by underlying issues in a relationship. It can also bleed into financial issues, too. So what can be done? If neither one of you is willing to compromise on how much or how little you drink, then it can create quite the stumbling block in your relationship.

In the first instance, you should try communicating your concerns with drinker partner. It will be different for every relationship. Or is it potentially also wrapped up in dating fears about where the relationship is drinker Are there alternative drinks and new activities you can introduce each other to?

Getting curious about what there is to learn from each other, and bringing a gentle, non-judgemental mindset, can lead to growth and harmony in a relationship. If you handle things right, who knows? You could wind up with a healthier relationship to one another and also to alcohol. Winners all round. Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies.

I have finally learned how to date without drinking. Here’s my sober advice

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